When Someone Always Needs To Be The Rescuer
As a perfectionist, it can be especially difficult to be in relationship with people who like to play the hero and just as hard figuring out how to set boundaries.
It can stir up emotions of unrest and disregard for the knowing and truth of our lives when someone is always insisting that you pursue constant betterment.
Boundaries as a perfectionist are especially important when you need to distance yourself from frequent over-functioners.
So, how do you set boundaries when you are being the rescuer or feel like the victim of this constant nudging?
Whenever I feel like I’m trying to be the hero for someone or I’m the one receiving the unsolicited rescuing, I’m reminded of the words of two women: my mother and @glennondoyle. My mother once told me that we don’t get to be the Holy Spirit in peoples lives. We don’t get to decide the timing or depth of what they need to learn or feel. We have to let go of control and let that person be guided in their life on their own timing.
Glennon recently said when someone is in grief, they get to be the one to turn towards the door of hope, not us. We don’t get to turn them towards hope. When we do that, we are jumping on stage trying to become the hero of their story but everybody should get to be the hero of their own story.
There are a lot of beautiful personality types in this world. But we each must do our part to protect ourselves while still loving ourselves and others with our sometimes conflicting differences. Be intentional about recognizing what personality traits in others bring out the worst in you. Set boundaries that set you both up for a successful and kind relationship moving forward.